Boheemoth

To make a long story as short as I can.......

The story of Boheemoth (my thyroid) probably started when I was a teenager. Although, I didn't know it then, looking back now I can see it's affects in my life. 

I started having noticeable health issues though during my pregnancy years. I was a horrible pregnant woman. My symptoms were normal pregnant lady symptoms, just to the extreme. My fatigue limited my abilities to accomplish normal day to day tasks. I passed out several times. I had problems with tachycardia. The doctors tested my thyroid with blood tests but my levels were always normal. They medicated me for the rapid heart rate and placed me on bed rest. This happened every pregnancy. Looking back, I bet if they had done an ultra sound of my thyroid they would have found my thyroid nodules and issues then.     

I started struggling with my weight in my early 20s. During pregnancy I gained, gained, and gained. 4 kiddos in just under 5 years is a lot to put your body through. Then nursing and running after all those little people while I wasn't feeling well was a struggle. Those years are really a blur. A happy blur. 

After I stopped nursing Gunnar I decided to really focus on my health and weight loss. Looking back I think during this time my body was in a hyperthyroid state. I lost all the weight and physically felt pretty good. I was very fit. Emotionally though, I still struggled with my self worth and body image. 

When we moved here to Arizona in 2010 all of my symptoms really flared. It was a stressful time. I now know that stress exacerbates my symptoms. I had rapid weight gain, rapid heart rate, extreme fatigue, joint pain, brain fog, hair loss, etc, etc. I was sad too. It was difficult for me to leave my California home and the adjustment period here was rough. 

I went to the doctor looking for help and answers. The did a million tests. Everything was pretty normal. I had an endometrial ablation in early 2011 to relieve heavy menstrual cycles. Then I had an emergency gall bladder surgery. My gall bladder was  "completely occupied" with stones. I had struggled with this issue since my pregnancy with Savannah 8 years prior. I continued to feel worse and worse. The summer heat really drained me. My fatigue was to the point that I didn't want to get out of bed. It was so hard emotionally as well. It's hard to not feel well. 

After passing out a few times during the fall of 2011 my doctor sent me to a cardiologist. They did a million tests. My heart was healthy. I do have a skip, but nothing to worry about. During an ultra sound of my carotid artery though, the ultra sound tech noticed that my thyroid didn't look quite right. He suggested I get it checked out. My doctor suggested I go to an endocrinologist.  

I saw 3 different endocrinologist between December 2011 and my surgery in November 2014.  The first one found the nodules. Lots of them. I had them biopsied through fine needle aspiration 2 different times. That was scary. Lots of long needles in my neck. I was emotional and scared. The biopsies came back inconclusive. My Dr. told me he wasn't worried. That thyroid cancer is very slow growing. That he was totally comfortable just watching and waiting. 

So, every three months I would go for an ultra sound. The Dr. would measure the nodules. They tried to manage my symptoms. I haven't really felt well though since we've lived here in AZ. I've taken all sorts of different medications and vitamins. I've tried lots of different diets. No luck really. 

I had a feeling that I should go to another endocrinologist for a second opinion. I saw my 3rd endo in September of 2014. My first visit he told me everything looked good. My labs were perfect. (They always were) He suggested we do an ultra sound next visit so he could see nodules but he didn't anticipate any issues. Ha Ha

A couple weeks later I went back for the ultra sound. I could tell by his face that things weren't going to be good. "Wow", he said, "Boheemoth". I laughed. Boheemoth? I've called my thyroid Boheemoth ever since. He told me I had lots of nodules, one was quite large. He recommended that I have surgery. He told me that he thought it was probably cancer.  But, because of the size of it I would need surgery eventually anyways, so he said he didn't need another biopsy. 

That was that. A week later I was in the surgeons office. Just a few weeks after that I was in surgery. 

The weeks before the surgery were very hard for me. The stress of the upcoming surgery  worsened my symptoms. My anxiety was through the roof. I spent a lot of time in bed. I watched pretty much every Christmas movie on Netflix. I was so scared. I read everything I could find about the surgery. I knew exactly what would happen and all of the risks. I was terrified of having my neck cut open. I was afraid of the worst. I was afraid of cancer. I didn't want to miss things. I wanted to be there for my kiddos. 

Dwight took me to the hospital for my surgery. He sat and reassured me in the preop room. We made jokes about nothing to calm my nerves. Nurses came in and talked to us, then my surgeon, then the anesthesiologist. He gave me some medicine to calm my nerves and they started to wheel me back. I remember being wheeled into the operating room. It was a large room. I was cold. The entire rooms seemed silver to me. I fell asleep shortly after they wheeled me in. 

I remember waking up with my eyes closed. I heard a man yelling next to me. He wanted pain killer. I didn't want to wake up. The nurse kept telling me I needed to open my eyes. But, I didn't want to. It hurt. I wanted to cry. I couldn't figure out how to open them. I asked her if I could have some pain medicine. I tried not to be too loud or whiney like the man next to me. She gave me something in my IV. A few minutes later I figured out how to open my eyes. I asked for my husband. I was really relieved that I lived through the surgery. :)

What seemed like a few minutes later, they started wheeling me to my room. We stopped by the lobby and picked up my hubby on the way. I came to find out that my surgery and time in recovery had been longer than anticipated. My husband had sat in the hospital lobby for over 4 hours. They came to him when the surgery was over, about 2 and a half hours after they took me back and told him everything went well and I was ok. It took me a long time to wake up, so he sat wondering what was taking so long to take me to my room. It's no fun waiting in a hospital lobby. 

He stayed with me until I was ready to go asleep late that night. They managed my pain and nausea with IV meds. I drank lots of sprite in hopes of not getting too much of an upset stomach. I struggle with anesthesia and pain meds. They make me so sick to my tummy. I used an ice pack off and on every 15 mins. 

I had a hard night in the hospital. There were lots of elderly patients on my hall moaning and crying. In the very early morning hours the man in the room straight across from me was in distress. They did CPR unsuccessfully and he didn't make it. His family came in over the next few hours. They were very loud mourners. They screamed and cried. I wanted to go home.

When my doctor came in around 9 that next morning, he said my calcium was low and he wanted me to stay another night. I cried. I told him I really needed to go home. I promised that I would take whatever medicine he sent me with and come back for labs the next day. He agreed. 

The doctor told me that I had lots of nodules, that he thought he got them all.  He told me he didn't think it was cancer. I didn't think so either. But, that week waiting for results was stressful. I crocheted a blanket in thyroid cancer colors and had my nails done in those same colors. 

Our home teacher just happens to be a pathologist. I requested my results be sent to him. I received my results from him first. 2 days before I heard from my surgeon. He gave me a lot more information as well. I had 29 nodules. No cancer. The surgeon had clipped a little part of my collar bone which would probably give me some pain.  

The first week was difficult. I couldn't lay down. I slept sitting up with as many pillows as I could find. I didn't eat much. I used the ice pack a lot. It hurt. 

As time went on though, I felt better and better. My scar has healed very nicely. My surgeon did a great job. My vocal cord was damaged. I can talk fine most of my time. My voice is a little scratchy. I can't sing much though. My voice cracks like a boy in puberty. I didn't think it would bother me much. I was glad to be alive. But, over time it has made me sad that I can't sing. 

It's been just over 4 months now. I have been very tired. I've gained 30 pounds since surgery. They have upped my meds twice. I am starting to feel better. I still have a lot of the same symptoms and I'm a little discouraged that after surgery they didn't go away. But, I feel optimistic that I will feel better soon. I have accepted it as part of my journey. It is part of my identity now. I have good days and bad days. But, I feel like I'm learning to deal with it and I am hopeful to feel better soon. 

Gracie gave this to me before I went to the hospital. I cried!

My funny shirt I got to wear to the hospital 

Who curls their hair for surgery? I do :)

Just after I got in my room, I asked Dwight to take a picture. I wanted to see my scar. 

This neck pillow was my best friend.